Now, at some point, you have to make a choice: are we monsters or noble savages? Chicago's Dyke March was in the Mexican Pilsen barrio for the first time, and some white lesbian activists opposed this for fear of violence and hate. One thousand people showed up (perhaps the most ever, I did the count), and no one was hurt or arrested.

But then there are the yuppies who dazzle on about how exciting and vibrant and fashionable these Latinos are. Why, just look at their murals, so full of color and foreign revolutionary idealism!

Sometimes, the people of Pilsen prefer the former. Because chatter like the latter tends to help the yuppies feel comfortable about moving in. I mentioned this in a recent post. Well, leave it to the liberals at the NYTimes to reopen the subject (credit to Sam for raising this to my attention) with a Travel section article about how you can go South of the Border without renewing your passport. (There'll even be brown people muttering about your arrogance in another language, how authentico!)

Mister Jeff Bailey, the writer, early on even throws up his Latin cred as a Gringo: A native of a mostly Latino suburb of Los Angeles; my wife, a Latina from Texas. Wow, this guys got more credentials than my dentist. Except he's not a Latino and my dentist's still a dentist.

Yeah, it's a real artist mecca. Except there are the artists who help the cohesion of the barrio, and those who split it with some mayonnaise and a skinning knife. Then, after using the term Latin an average of eleven times per sentence, Mr. Bailey brings us to my favorite Aficianado of all things South of the Border ol' Rick "Fell mouth first in the sand" Bayless (see a recent post for my thoughts on our local Great White Hunter on the poach for the most authentic chorizo).

After this, Mr. Bailey wantonly dismisses all other Puerto Rican, Mexican, and Central and South American barrios in the city like so much browned guacamole, and returns to Pilsen where he all but tells you the prices of its many condo units.

To be sure, there is a balance in this article. Our safari tour guide promotes one of Chicago's greatest museums, the Nation Museum of Mexican Art, WRTE (Radio Arte) which a lot of my compas work with, and the anti-gentrification bitterness of Cafe Mestizo. Although the Mexican Museum made a name for itself long before 2006. And lest any gringos think all this Mexican culture is a threat to white supremacy, Mr. Bailey quotes the Museum's director: "It is pro-American to be pro-immigrant."

And the author also mentions the gentrification (in classic journalistic reverse pyramid style, not until the end), deriding the 20-something year old Anglos for jogging down the street.

Of course, this wouldn't be a proper travelogue without ending with the requisite listings of hotels and restaurants during your condo-hunting stay. He gives you two downtown hotels, and starts the "where to eat" (in Pilsen) with Bayless' expensive and vomitously bad restaurants (in the downtown).

Why, thank you Mr. Bailey. Buyers were fleeing and the housing market had hit a slump, but now I'm sure the condo sellers in Pilsen will see that NYTimes bump.

Apparently, there are more of these.

We just watched the really excellent Blame it on Fidel! As bonafide lefty offspring, watching the kid navigate her parent's ideological, and sometimes contradictory, lessons really hit home, but besides that it was funny and touching and really well directed. I'd say that I was surprised that it didn't get more distribution, but it was a film that touched on the left in an honest way, so no surprise that it was hidden.

It was directed by Julie Gavras, daughter of Costa-Gavras, and it was irresistible to imagine what elements were autobiographical. What other films have been made about red diaper babies?

Continuing our new series in hate, we watched Eagle Versus Shark this afternoon. A week ago, there was a preview before The Happening which sparked a theater of groans. Vin Diesel is apparently starring in Action Movie: the Movie and you had to wonder what the workshopping was like to come up with this bit of dreck. ("Okay, we've finished up on the tits, one fuzzy shot, one quick pan. Peterson is going to now lead us on the gun dilemma: held sideways or at fifty degrees? Peterson, you have thirty minutes.")
Why bring this up? Eagle versus Shark was workshopped in the very next room by two indie rock licensers, and a dozen thirty five year olds channeling what they wanted to see when they were seventeen. ("I hear you on the Benny and Joon, Charles, but I think we're veering too far into Gilbert Grape territory." "He's right, let's look at that Napoleon Dynamite clip again"). It was amusing throughout, but disposable and cloying. Maybe if I was still in high school and afraid that no one would ever accept me, I could go out and buy a shirt that says Bugger! or drop any of the written-to-be-catchphrases in casual conversation, but I'm not and I thought it was essentially a waste of time. If I want to watch two intensely awkward late twenty somethings mumble repeat to me and each other why they're both, individually and as a couple, so unique, I could just stop avoiding several couples I know in real life.



I wrote this and then realized that the actress who plays the main character also got a writer credit on it, which somehow makes so much sense without making me like it any more.

It's possible that my mother will stumble across this post; she's hip to the blogs. Sorry, mom, but I have to warn everyone else in the world. Even if your mother offers to send you a free subscription to Real Simple magazine (motto: Life Made Easier) and you want to say "sure, who can complain about free?" STOP RIGHT NOW. Do Not Subscribe to it, don't accept it for free, and don't for an instant think that it has anything to do with an easier or simpler life. Instead it is one long shot of brain frying page of sales pitch after sales pitch. Reading this string of ad copy makes your life simpler like eating a swarm of hornets could bring you honey. It's lobotomy set to text. I keep it in the bathroom because it literally annoys the shit out of me. Do not subscribe. Do not read. Do not waste your time.
I wonder if the people who shovel this thing out believe in it ("we're really helping busy people juggle their hectic lives") or if they're like us and have come to terms with this juncture of wasting their lives ("I pack spam in a can for a living, but at least it pays for these drinks. I'll get a better job soon... Yes, another round, please.")?

In the "Neither Left nor Palate" category, I am sharing the following two videos. They are only grouped together here because they are awesome, not because they have anything to do with each other (I hope).

1. Bollywood Condom Commercial

Via Another Limited Rebellion

2. Just watch:

Via Redacted.

Alternatives to
Setting Your House
on Fire to Avoid
Foreclosure.

BY MELANIE BERLIET

- - - -

Set mortgage broker on fire

Set Wall Street on fire

Set White House on fire

Set self on fire

Check self into insane asylum

(via mcsweeneys, duh)

Sam is lying to you?! Ahem It was a single neighbor and what scary movies did I watch? I want a list and, sans list, an apology for this affront on my honor.

Second, I have seen Y tu mamá también, La Science des rêves, Y Diarios de motocicleta. I know who Gael is (I have even worked with someone who was a featured guest of his film festival).

Third, what is the Take That, Sam? Take that you once played as wolverine? Take that you didn't see Be Kind Rewind? Take what exactly?

I was giving a running commentary to 'Sam' as I was reading his recent LeftPalate media critique, and he suggested I clog us with some of my minute comments.

Movies

Firstly, Sam immediately loses Puntas de Latinidad for referring to Gael García Bernal as that guy who played Che. To be a young-ish Latino in this day and age, you are required to have seen at least three Gael flicks, and at least one must be from his native Mexico (most commonly Amores Perros or Y Tu Mama Tambien, but there are plenty of other acceptable answers). It is actually suggested that tu have seen five or six. Sam implied having seen two of them, neither a Mexican production. You also must be able to correct your gringo friends:

That guy who played Che, Gabriel-
It's Gael, yanqui!

For Latinas attracted to men, you are required to have a construction paper heart filled with magazine cut-outs of Gael. Oh, that's just my roommate? Oops.

In any event, I have wanted to see Be Kind Rewing, it's just that the bootleg I keep seeing around has the worst audio and lots of heads and whispers in the audience. Why, the guy filming Incredible Hulk only coughed once!

Next, Sam is lying to you. He was allowed to see scary movies as a kid. Granted, many of those viewings were allowed by adult male neighbors who wished they had sons, but there were many in his home as a youth as well.

And the Waco thing reminds me, why have none of us written a critique of that insanely popular bullshit Zeitgeist propaganda?

Video Games

While I have never been a huge video game person (mostly because they stopped making game genies before my friends got playstations, and I couldn't make it far without), I will promise a video game themed post in coming weeks. But to the Sam's post yesterday, that X-Men game sounds pretty crappy. What do I have to compare it to? Two great experiences with X-Men games, naturally.

Firstly, as a pre-teen, I recall the days of an X-Men arcade game that could take up to six or seven players, which was a formative experience in male bonding in my life. None of us knew each other, but males of all ages would join or leave longterm games of this sort. It's like how soldiers speak of war, all you were there to do was save the next man's ass.

Secondly, when a friend was taking care of a sick me, I played the first level of a Playstation X-Men game where you, as Wolverine, kill dozens of riot police in some big city. I say I played the first level, because I would start over when I made it to the second level. The story progression held no interest for me. And anyway, no game genie.

And I had friends who were doing that downloading games thing with modded XBoxes years ago- except that they were mostly just downloading all of the Nintendo and Super Nintendo games of their youth.

Take that, Sam!

(And sorry, Anna. I'll up the Leftist points with a sharp critique of some Obamacon graffiti artists sometime.)